Wee Bit Behind

Okay, so I realize it has been over a year since I last posted anything but if you know me then you know things have been a little crazy in that year.

1. Separated from Evan in August 2010
2. Moved in with Rachel October 2010
3. Divorced January 13, 2011
4. Trying to keep my life intact and not go insane.....Priceless!

So, that is what has happened in a nutshell over the past year.

I have had a very difficult time because I am not with Chance all the time since Evan happens to be one of the good dads out there and loves spending as much time as possible with his son. I also went through quite a bit of crap for separating from Evan and instantly moving in with a woman, I am sure everyone had their opinions on that matter and frankly, I don't give a damn.

I have come to realize what is important in life and that is my handsome boy and me. If we are okay then life is okay. I realized that I had made a lot of mistakes in my marriage and although it may be nice to blame everything on Evan, it is not fair nor true. I was not a happy person for a long time, not any one's fault but my own, and I did not like the idea that the unhappiness in me and my marriage was affecting my child. Evan is not a bad person at all and did not deserve some of the things that went down in our marriage, we all make mistakes we are not proud of, it is just a matter of recognizing those mistakes, apologizing, forgiving yourself, and moving on. Moving on is hard, sometimes too hard. I wish life were more simple sometimes but I just take the hard stuff and apply it to future issues to avoid too much conflict.
I lost some friends and family on this journey to find myself and that is one thing that has been the most difficult. Sure, I can sit here and say that you know who your true friends are when shit goes down and I am better off without those people, but it still hurts like hell.
Me and Evan have actually become great friends because we realized the most important person in all of this was Chance. We realized that we needed to do what was best for him and stop being so damn selfish and petty. It is really great to have an ex who is willing to do what is best for the child. I think we have also realized that the friendship we once had got lost along the way in our 10 year marriage and we just did not know how to piece it back together. I am not proud of the way things went down and some days I wish I had a do over but again, this is where I apply that "learning from living" thing.

Anyway, enough of that.

Chance is almost THREE!!!! WTF?!?!
Where did the time go? I swear I was just pregnant!!!
I have to say, and I know I am biased,this is the most amazing kid! He has an amazing memory, personality, sense of humor and to top it all off, he is ADORABLE.
He says some of the cutest (and sometimes foulest) things I have heard. For example:
The other day we were in the car and we took a sharp turn and the next thing I heard from the back seat was "Hold on to your knickers!", WTH!! Where did that come from? So cute. I have also come to realize that he is a parrot......not good. If you know me you know I am not the best at using language suited for a lady. So, needless to say, his vocabulary can lean towards the vulgar side. :)
He loves to call people schmucks and retards, not my fault, this I blame all on his Uncle Ryan.
Anyway, I will supply you with some pictures and hopefully I can keep up with this blog thing a little better.

Happy trails!

And away we go.....

So it has been awhile since I have updated my blog and since Chance is sleeping I thought this would be a good time. Me & Evan are about to celebrate our 9 year anniversary this weekend, which is insane, but also very cool. We have been through so much together, both good and bad, but we have made it this far. Sometimes it seems so crazy to me that I am only 27 and married 9 years but in other aspects it makes a lot of sense. He is such a great man and fantastic dad. I could not have asked for anything better in the person I chose to spend my life with. We are also very lucky to have such an awesome son. Even though it has been 17 months it still feels so surreal to see this little person walking around our home. He brings so much light into our lives. We are truly blessed.

I cannot believe that our little man is 17 months old. It really seems like it was just last week we found out we were even having a baby. So crazy. He has so much energy and his personality is amazing. He has the greatest sense of humor also. There are times when he finds something funny and he will hit the floor and cover his eyes while he laughs, it is the cutest thing I have ever seen. He also has a little temper, if he is unhappy about something he will be sure to let you know. Sometimes he throws tantrums that are so funny I have to leave the room so I can laugh because we do not want him to think it is okay to act like that.
He is also at the age where he has learned "hi", which means he goes to the dogs or people he does not know and waves while he says "hi" in this cute little baby voice. It is so funny! I am hoping to catch him one time on video so we can save it for when he is older. I know I may regret this but I cannot wait to actually hear him talk. I can only imagine the kinds of outrageous things he is going to say. I am sure after a week I will want him to be at the age where he could not talk but for now I want to have cute conversations with him.
There are so many cute things he does that I could take about 6 hours just writing them all down but I will not bore you.

We are very lucky in our lives right now to have such a great family. No matter how hard the times get I know I will always have my family that will stick by us.

Here are some pictures of the little one I thought you would enjoy. Most of them were taken by Aunt Tina at Christmas since we were in charge of recording video of him. She always takes the best pictures anyway.




Chance loves bath time!!





Me & my little man. He was so tired after opening all of his presents.





These two are so cute together.





Chance made out pretty good. I think 4 or 5 of these are for me and Evan. LOL!





This is a turtle that his Uncle Eric & Aunt Tina got while in California. Chance gave it a big hug. It was a hit!

Time to catch up

Still has a happy face




Our Halloween Costumes



Chance smashing his cake



At the hospital



The results of the cake smashing



Happy about his costume




It has been quite a long time since I last posted and we have had a few adventures.
First, on August 13 Evan had gone to work as usual and I was getting Chance ready to settle down. We put on our pajamas and off I went into the kitchen to make a bottle. I was in the kitchen for maybe 10 seconds and I heard a growl and then a very loud scream. I ran into the living room to see what had happen and there was Chance bleeding from his head, it seemed like there was blood everywhere. I guess he had been trying to walk and fell on our dog who in turn thought it was another dog trying to play so she bit whoever the intruder was, which happen to be Chance. I called the ambulance and they took him to Primary Children's. We were there for almost 9 hours. They had to clean out the wounds (which caused Chance to turn into the Hulk and try to throw everyone away from him) and then he had to get 18 stitches. It was one of the worst days of my life. I was scared out of my mind. Chance on the other hand was loving the attention. He had a bunch of female nurses attending to him and he was as big of flirt as ever. He is such a champ. He has healed nicely with little scarring.

Next we celebrated his 1st birthday on August, 29. I cannot believe he is already one. That is insane!! Time is flying way too quickly.
We had a pretty good crowd and Chance was loving all of the attention. He dove into his cake with only a moments hesitation and opened his presents with the enthusiasm of a child seeing his first snow. It was adorable. We rented a space in a park in West Jordan so we could fit everyone and the kids had somewhere to play. We played with a pinata (which Evan ended up breaking open for the kids) and had good food and cake. Thank you to everyone who were able to make it to the party, it would have not gone as well without you all there.

Last we have Halloween. Chance was the cutest elephant I have ever seen. We took him to his Aunt Tina's work to some trick or treating. He never really got it down but he tried. There were a few times he thought he had to trade the candy he had for the candy the person was trying to give him. Too cute!
We stopped by Grandma Laura's and Grandma Irwin's to show off his costume and do some trick or treating there. They loved his costume.
Next, we went to Sara's to go trick or treating with her husband and his 2 boys who absolutely adore him. That was a lot of fun.
Finally to end the evening we headed to our good friends, Buddy & Sam, for a Halloween party. Everyone thought Chance was adorable!I went as Betty Rubble and Evan went as Fred Flinstone, thanks to our costume we got a prize for the most like the television show. It was great fun!!

So, that is what has been going on out here in Canada. We are still having so much fun. Chance runs all over the place and is a ball of energy but he goes to bed with no fuss at 8 or 8:30 so I will not complain. He is trying very hard to talk and he does say a few words but mainly just lets you know what he is talking about with his hands. He has grown up so much already and it is so awesome to see everything from his eyes. We are very excited for Christmas this year since he is a little more aware than last year. It should be exciting.

I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you to all who have given us their love and support and making Chance feel very special!

Are you kidding me?

So, it has almost been a year since our new addition to the family and I am in complete denial. There is no way that this little boy is going to be a year old in less than a month. I will not believe it. I figure if I just keep denying it then it will not happen. I know, I know....good luck to me.

Chance has grown up so much already and when I look at those pictures from the first weeks of his life I cannot believe that my son and that boy in the picture are one and the same. Where has the time gone? How the he** did time go by so fast?

Chance learned to crawl when he was 7 months and now he is trying his hardest to walk. He loves it when you hold out your hand to him because he knows that means he gets to walk instead of crawl. He can already walk back and forth between furniture and every once in awhile he will walk from the hall to the couch. He laughs when he walks and gets very excited, which of course makes him fall down.

He has definitely come into his personality (stubborn) and makes it known when he is not happy. But, all in all he is a very happy baby and brings a smile to almost everyone who meets him, escpecially woman servers, he always gives them his "special" smile.

We bought him is first potty and he loves to play with it but we do not expect to really have him potty trained until he is 2 or so. I do not like the idea of pressuring him and he is stubborn enough already so we hope he will get the idea when we take him in and show him. I don't know, I guess I am just hoping for the best since this is my first one.

Anyway, we are really excited to celebrate his birthday and we have had so much fun shopping for all the necessities for a 1st birthday party. It should be fun.
I just hope there is no drama and we can make this about Chance!

I will be adding some new pictures to the website from our first zoo visit and some times at the lake. Be sure to check them out. For now, here are a few of my favorites.

Chance & Grandpa Irwin at the lake. This is one of my favorite pictures.



Chance just woke up and he had a little bed head. Too cute!


Chance in his new floatie and his first time in the lake. He was not a fan.

Life is what you make of it!

So, it has been awhile since I posted anything but sometimes I am not sure what to report. We have had some setbacks, as I am sure everyone has, but we are trying our best to keep a positive perspective. We are so blessed to have what we have. We are all healthy and we have our jobs. At work this past month they did ask all of us to take a "voluntary" unpaid week of vacation, I took mine during Memorial Day week, I am not excited to see that paycheck but it is better to take a week than a year.
Evan is still working for the company that bought Irwin's Trucking property and he likes it for the most part. The only thing that sucks is he sometimes does not get home until 2 in the morning and our little monster likes to wake him up early on those days.

Speaking of the little monster. Chance is doing great. He is now 9 months old, crawling and getting into everything within reach. At our last doctor appointment a few weeks ago Chance weighed 24 pounds and is already 30 inches, he is as tall as most 1 years olds. I am so glad he is growing so well.
In regards to the crawling, our house is like a prison now, we have to gate everything that poses a threat and apparently that is everything.
As he gets older I cannot believe how much he looks like Evan. It seems so odd to see a "little Evan" around the house. Chance LOVES his daddy a bunch. He thinks he is the funniest person ever. He smiles and giggles whenever Evan is around, it is adorable. I am so glad they have such a deep bond. Dads are so important in a childs life and I did not understand that until having one of my own. I could not imagine doing this without Evan. He is my support system and I am sure I would have gone crazy by now.

This is Chance's favorite place to take naps.


His new position while sleeping in his own bed.


9 month milestone picture taken at Kiddie Kandids, this is my favorite.




Anyway, that is all that is going on here in far away Layton. I hope all of you are doing well and life is treating you good.

Life is like a box of chocolates

So, it has been 3 weeks since we moved back to Layton and I have mixed feelings.
I love being back in a house, escpecially that house, I love that house but I absolutely hate the drive to work. It is not bad traffic or anything like that but it seems to take a very long time, I guess I was really spoiled when I lived a whole 5 minutes away. Having an SUV is not so great now.
Chance loves the house too, he is always playing on the floor and getting into things like little babies do. He rolls all over the place, it is so much fun to watch. We are still unpacking so there are boxes everywhere but I hope to have all of this done before Chance's first birthday (which is in 4 and a half months... crazy)! Evan is working the night shift and is not getting home until 2:30 or 3:00 every morning and then he gets to be Mr. Mom from 7:30 to 3:30. Poor guy, I do not know how he does it. Gotta love him!

We have had a hard month but we are trying to get through it. Thank goodness for everyone who has helped and given us so much support. Without them I am not sure we would make it. It is great to have family you can depend on and know they will always be there for you no matter what.
It is hard when there are a few who will not be there or those who you cannot depend on but I have learned to lean on those who will be there and let the others pass me by. You gotta do what you gotta do.

Last but not least. Evan's cousin Ryan left on the 10th to California for some training and then he is off to another tour in Afghanistan. He has bonded with Chance really well and it is sad that he will not be back until Chance is almost 2 years old. We are praying that he will make it back safely!

So, that is our life in a nutshell right now. Chance is getting bigger and stronger each day. He is so wonderful and we are so lucky to have him.

We hope everyone else is doing well!

Evan and Chance at the Car Show. I guess they both liked the same car.



This is at my mom's for the U of U and BYU game that happen awhile ago. I love the looks on their faces!



Evan and Chance at Temple Square. I love this picture.

Changes

Moving back to Layton, oh what a joy. This has been an interesting year so far.
We have decided to move back to our house in Layton because of some issues we have encountered while living in Salt Lake. I, for one, am excited to be moving back to our house, I love that house and I am sad it is a trek from everyone but in a way it is good to have some distance. We have had to fix a lot of things up thanks to the renters we had in there last year and we have done a few upgrades as well so it is looking really good, a lot cuter and more cozy than before. Chance will now have a backyard, carpet to play on and a nice big room for all of his stuff, that is what is the most important to me, raising my son in a home. So, this should be an exciting move and we are hoping things will start to come into place for us, the only difficult thing is we will not have a baby-sitter so Evan can go to work early, he will now need to go in later and stay later to get his hours since he will have to wait for me to pick Chance up from him. Something that is a definite downside but doable. Anyway, that is what is new with us.

Chance is growing so fast and will not seem to stop, I know every mother feels this way about her child but I did not know how true it was until I encountered it.
He went to his six month appt. at the beginning of this month. His weight was 20.14lbs. and his length was 28 in. Wow! What a big kid. Everyone we talk to asks if he is 9 months and is genuinely shocked when I tell them he is 6 months. He handled his shots like a champ and flirted with the nurse as usual. He is such a happy kid, it is so fun. He seems to make everyone smile. One thing that is kind of new is what we call "hulking up", this is what he does when he is upset or just has a lot of excess energy. He will hunch his shoulders, shake and growl all at the same time, it is ADORABLE. We laugh every single time. I just hope he does not continue to do it when he is a teenager after I tell him no because I will have to leave the room so he does not see me laugh. He is so smart and energetic. He just wants to get up and run but he is not sure how. Anyway, be sure to check out the website for his new pictures that his Aunt Tina has taken, they are really good. I will leave you with two of the ones I love.

My two boys



Hulking up